wanna go halves on a baby?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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