id be glad to
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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