if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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