Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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