By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
