maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
