forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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