i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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