here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize