i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
