Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
