no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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