OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She told me I should be a condom model.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize