I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
