Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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