FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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