I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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