dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
