I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
