So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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