i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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