I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
