He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
