Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
