he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
