At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
