Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
