btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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