I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
