I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
