you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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