Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
