You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
