it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
