I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
