two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
