You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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