No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
