a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
