I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
