I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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