The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize