So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
