So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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