An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
