I'm so fucking centered right now
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
