ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm determined to sit on that face.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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