Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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