She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
