so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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