she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Someone signed my nipple.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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