shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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