I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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