its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
