Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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