I feel like abortions should bother me more
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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