Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
dude. I can hear the air.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
