Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
