I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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