yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
